SorryWatch: good and bad apologies
Nov 12, 2014 · 1 minute read · Commentspsychologyapologies
I try to avoid reading news, but now and then I see an article about someone or other “apologizing” for something, and most of the time, the apology is pretty bad. Personally, I admire more someone who defiantly refuses to apologize. The stupidest, most transparent copout, of course, is “I apologize if (something bad resulted from what I said or did)“, rather than the real apology “I apologize that …”
My own preferences when it comes to apologies:
- Always apologize for something if you do believe you did wrong.
- Never “apologize” for something if you don’t believe you did wrong.
I don’t need to feel comforted and coddled by bullshit fake apologies: but I do want to know the truth of where you stand and I’ll respect that even if where you stand might be something like “Yeah, I’m a racist and proud of it!” I want you to look me in the eye and spit at me and say that, and I will at least respect you for being honest.
By coincidence, I recently found a Web site devoted to analyzing different kinds of apologies, good or bad or bizarre. Have fun: SorryWatch.