When I don't have time to sit and breathe, something is wrong with my life
It’s been a long time since I’ve mentioned meditation here. In fact, it’s been ten months! This despite my knowledge of how beneficial it is.
There’s a reason: I completely lost my meditation practice at some point this year. I don’t even remember when I lost it. It may have had something to do with the fact that the iPad app we had been using as a meditation timer suddenly stopped making sound and we didn’t know why.
Yeah, what a sad excuse. But this is exactly how, when one’s practice is already in trouble, any trivial glitch (so easily solved one way or another) is an excuse to stop.
Abby and I have periodically “tried” to get back on, but as Yoda wisely said,
Try not! Do, or do not. There is no try.
So now what?
Do
We’ve decided to “do”. This meant having to discuss the various reasons and chain reactions that lead to not doing meditation, and how to head them off. Meditation can be hard, but really, sitting and breathing for just ten minutes in the morning is, objectively, not so hard.
It’s not hard to realize that if I am so “busy” that I don’t have time to sit and breathe for ten minutes, something is wrong with my life. Something has become unbalanced. Abby and I have had quite a year of many activities and experiences, but at some point, I started neglecting some basics. In particular, the last two months of this year have been something of a blur. Abby has tried to get us back to meditating, but I’ve resisted with some pretty bad excuses.
But as of today, we are back. Being too “busy” means priorities are out of whack: did I really need to read those blog posts or tweets for ten minutes, instead of meditating? The answer is embarrassingly obvious when the mind is clear.
Oh, and as for the iPad meditation app: I checked the app and it’s making the start and end sounds just fine now. And if it didn’t, that wouldn’t stop us.
Conclusion
Meditation is good, and I’m back. In order to commit myself to keeping up the practice, I have decided that I should write about meditation on this blog at least once a month! It’s on my calendar.
(Update of 2013-02-01)
A report on my meditation in January 2013.
(Update of 2013-03-01)
A report on my meditation in February 2013.
my zafu and zabuton have been unused for a few years. luckily i did manage to sit with a friend once this year, but i've had a hard time finding the time. maybe that's another good new years resolution -- to sit (and breath).
10 minutes, man, or even 5, or even 2... pick a small number and go from there. I actually prefer to do 20 minutes (as I did years ago), but I'll stick with 10 right now as we both know we can do that.
This is why I go to church! I mean, it isn't the only reason, and it wouldn't work if I hadn't found a denomination and congregation that match closely with my spiritual needs, but ONE of the reasons I attend a scheduled religious service at least once a week is that it forces me to commit time to spiritual practice and to be in a situation where other people are practicing so I am more resistant to my own distractions.
The idea of clearing ten full minutes in the MORNING on a weekday is daunting to me, though! Because I have to get my son to school at about the time my body would prefer to awaken, my morning schedule is designed to keep me active until I leave the house, and the amount of time allocated between awakening and leaving the house is set to the minimum plus about 10 minutes of slack to allow for things that go awry and unexpectedly take extra time. It is not a time when I feel I could build in quiet meditation.
I've had great success though with prayers that can be said (silently) while walking. When the weather is steady and I'm wearing the same coat/jacket every day, keeping my prayer beads in my coat pocket helps to remind me to focus, rather than just let my mind wander as I'm walking.
I can see how having kids changes a lot of things. My friends with kids who do get stuff done in the morning get up way, way early. Even without kids yet, I am trying to get up earlier and earlier. Meanwhile, you're right, meditation can be done anytime, anywhere. Since your morning is so hectic, maybe even just a silent minute could be helpful?
Walking is great. By the way, there's an actual practice called walking meditation that I learned two years ago.
Oh, it's not the kid's fault! At least half the things that take extra time for me in the morning are not kid-related: I spilled something, my hair won't behave, I got something in my eye, etc. I never have been very good at getting out of the house before 9am, and I find it only works if I keep up a fast pace doing only the things that have to be done in the morning. Hot showers and reading while eating are "relaxing" in a sense, but if I try to do conscious relaxation in the morning I either fall asleep or lose track of time or (this is the most likely) can't relax because I am worrying about running out of time to do the other stuff. For me, it's much easier to relax later in the day.